|
And now faith, hope, and love remain, these three, and the greatest of these is love. I shall walk at liberty, for I have sought your precepts. |
GregAll of us have experienced life's hurts, with some of us experiencing more pain than others. I am not referring to inconveniences and minor issues like hurt feelings and bruised egos; I am thinking of life changing tragedies and occurrences that weigh heavy on our minds and tear at our emotions. In some extreme instances, events occur that lead us to despair, maybe even to the point where we no longer value our lives and we wish for our own demise, just to make the pain and suffering go away. How do we continue, day-by-day, with so much sorrow and heartache?
I remember well a tragedy that occurred in my family on December 15, 2001. My family had experienced the loss of elderly family members in my youth, but this was an incident that was shocking and unexpected. My parents and I, along with my younger sister, were traveling along the highway, following behind my grandfather, grandmother, and a friend of theirs. We were on the way home from being out of state and I was driving behind my grandfather who was driving their van. He pulled over to the side of the road, and I pulled in beside him. I don’t remember the conversation, but I think it had something to do with making sure we were on the right path toward home. He pulled back out on the highway, and we drove a short distance. My grandfather pulled up to what may have seemed like a four-way intersection, but in fact there were only stop signs for us and what would have been oncoming traffic. Vehicles coming from the left or right did not have a stop sign. My grandfather eased out into the road, and I saw a pickup truck barreling toward the van. I do not remember the specifics of the truck, only that it was not a small vehicle. I could see what was about to happen and I still remember saying: “Oh, Papa.” A moment later, a horrific collision occurred as the truck broadsided my grandfather’s van. I remember seeing the caps flying off the wheels of the van, and the van veering to the right, off of the road and into an open field. I rushed to the side of the road and parked the vehicle, and we ran to the van. I ran straight to the open window of the driver’s side of the vehicle and my grandfather was unconscious. I grabbed his arm, and I could feel that he had an extremely rapid pulse. My mother climbed into the vehicle and was desperately attempting to give rescue breaths to my grandfather as he sat upright in the driver’s seat. I remember seeing the shock and bewilderment on my father’s face, as well as the voice of my grandmother who was injured, but conscious. My grandfather’s pulse stopped. His life had passed. I walked away from the vehicle and out into the open field. I don’t remember exactly what I was thinking, but if I recall correctly, my thoughts were directed toward God, life, death, and the days ahead. Other people stopped to assist, including a lady that prayed with us. One minute life was like normal – and the next it was turned upside down. My grandfather was no longer with us. My grandmother spent several nights in a nearby hospital. My mother’s two brothers arrived, along with some friends, and my grandmother was released. Their friend had survived the accident too. Christmas was a lot different that year. Traditionally, we had met at the house of my grandparents, and there was lots of good food and laughing and storytelling. This gathering was filled with tears and sadness. It was painful to lose my grandfather this way, but I am certain that my grandmother, my mother, and my uncles felt the pain more intensely than the rest of us. In God’s design, a married man and woman have the closest and most intimate relationship to be found on earth. Losing a husband or a wife is heart wrenching. The relationship between parents and children is not far behind. How do people cope when faced with a tragedy that separates husband and wife, or parent and child? The ultimate hope is that one day, all those who followed (or will follow) Jesus as Lord will be resurrected to eternal life and loved ones will be reunited to enjoy the blessed new creation. In the meantime, we must trust in the Lord, while finding hope in the better things of life that come through fellowshipping with family and the saints of God. Follow Christ who is our hope. Apart from him there is no hope. Spread the message of hope. Be a beacon of hope for others, even in the little things in life.
0 Comments
GregWhen my wife and I met, many years ago, we had similar backgrounds when it comes to theology and religious activity. We also were not examples of holiness when we met. As someone who had once yielded to Christ a few years prior to my wife and I meeting, some stern preaching had brought me to my knees in repentance over some moments where I had given in to temptation since then. I was determined to never let anything like that happen again. I committed myself and my marriage to the Lord. The further I went, the more I realized there was much I needed to "unlearn", and through personal study I began moving away from religious activity to the holiness without which no man shall see the Lord.
I became a preacher. The pastorate can be hard on any family. I believe the powers of darkness moved against my family in those days. I would go on to work in institutional corrections, which would wreak havoc on me mentally. I was exposed to terrible things that led me to mental vulnerability. I went through darkness as I battled with mental images, ethical dilemmas in my line of work, feelings of guilt over past sins - in short, I lived in utter despair. Hope had left me. As I struggled, my wife came to me and revealed her own attack by the powers of darkness. Many of the things we suffered through have since been worked out or have been better understood, but the powers of darkness still whisper in our ears at times, trying to drag us down, trying to devour us. We were down. It was a darkness that I cannot describe and I do not even want to try. After we moved to Alaska we were still dealing with pain and heartache. In Alaska, my wife became pregnant with our final two children. During an ultrasound, a mass was found in her bladder. It turned out it was very early-stage bladder cancer. We were devastated. Was I in despair? To say yes is an understatement. I wanted all of life to be over. I was tired of hurting. Tired of the pain. Some Christian friends prayed with us multiple times, anointing my wife with oil and crying out to God for healing. My wife underwent surgery while she was still carrying the twins, and the tumor was removed. She has had multiple checkups since that time (over three years now) and the doctor cannot even tell where the tumor was located in her bladder. Praise be to God. I do not want to live without her. I cannot imagine doing so. She is my best friend and my fellow warrior on the battlefield of life. As many others can say, I know pain. I know mental darkness. I know spiritual warfare. How have I made it through? Hope. Hope in Christ my Lord and what lies ahead for Christians. And hope in a precious relationship in which I am the recipient of a woman's love - the woman that God has given to me as my helpmeet, that God has commanded me to love as Christ loves the Church. Engraved on the blade of a knife I had custom made are the words - Jesus My Lord, Kari my Lady. Though I have failed them both in the past at times, I want to honor them both in all that I do, every day of my life, forever. Suffering will continue to be a part of human existence until the Lord's return. But he will return. One day suffering and evil will be removed from God's universe. What a day that will be. GregToday is mine and Kari's marriage anniversary. God says that marriage is good, and that the man that finds a wife is blessed (Psalms 128), and that women should be married and bear children (1 Timothy 5:14). The world undermines God’s design for marriage. This opposition is significant because the marriage relationship, in many ways, parallels the relationship that we should have with the Lord.
Life can be hard. A man and a woman coming together in marriage, with Christ as their Master, can only strengthen them and protect them. A man needs a woman, just as a woman needs a man. That’s how God intended it. My wife and I were 20 and 22 when we were married. We met and three days later I asked her to marry me (no one could accuse me of being a procrastinator!). Her father gave his blessing, and we were married just a month and a half later. We had a lot to learn about life, marriage, and each other (and we're still learning), but we have now been married for twenty-two years and we have twelve children. Marriage is good, but in real life, it is not a fairy tale. In the ideal marriage, the husband and wife walk together in obedience to Christ and they humbly correct themselves when they are wrong. As Christians, we are told that we can expect persecution as we follow Christ. We can count on this including satanic opposition against the marriage relationship. That is why we must guard our hearts, be aware of the temptations of the flesh, and love one another by seeking the well-being of our spouse - remembering that marriage is not about "me." Marriage requires us to be forgiving, patient, kind, selfless, submissive, and loving. Love is not a sentimental emotion; it is seeking the highest well-being of another. This is why we are told to love even our enemies. We are not commanded to have sentimental emotions for our enemies, we are told to seek their well-being if it is possible. A husband and wife should pursue Christ together and love each other with all their strength. I think we should constantly remind ourselves of something that I heard once. It is not my job to make my wife happy, and it is not her job to make me happy (though there are certainly happy times in marriage). My duty is to deny myself and help my wife seek and follow the Lord, just as her duty is to deny herself and help me seek and follow the Lord. If I look at my spouse as if she should be striving to make me happy, both of us are going to be disappointed, because sometimes she won’t, and sometimes I will be hard to please. Marriage is not about me (though it provides me with blessings) – it’s about Christ, and my spouse (and by extension my children). The goal for marriage is not me getting what I want but us helping each other to “perfect holiness in the fear of God.” What a difference that makes. When I remember this, I am not worried about the wrongs (falsely perceived or otherwise) that my wife commits against me, I am concerned with helping her to draw close to God and to be at peace with him. A husband is to love his wife as Christ loves the church. I am to deny myself for her well-being, forgive her sins when she confesses, protect and provide for her, and help her be the kind of woman that God wants her to be. She is to deny herself for my well-being, forgive me when I confess, support and submit to me, and help me be the kind of man that God wants me to be. No, marriage is not a fairy tale, but what makes it worth it all is it involves a man and a woman that are committed to the Lord, to each other, to their family, and they fight with each other and for each other through life’s battles. In doing so they form a bond that surpasses understanding. |
Greg and KariWe are a Christian couple committed to following the one true God, the Father, and the one Lord Messiah, his only begotten Son. Categories
All
|